Life choices matter

People can pressure you to do things. But you are the one who made decision.

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Besides being a catechist, I also felt a call from Jesus asking me to come visit Him often behind those prison walls. And I felt this call to serve the prisoners when I first came in to visit my own brother each weekend. My brother got arrested when he was only 16. When he was around your age. My brother was a great young man with such great potential. He was the best brother any sister could have ask for and he was a straight A student who wanted to become a doctor one day to help out the poorest of the poor. But 3 days after he got confirmed, 3 FBI guys came to our home and arrested him. He was charged with murder and his case made headlines. It was written on the newspaper and it was also on the news a couple of nights after he got arrested. Everyone knew about it at the times and my brother’s lawyer told me that he was going to get life in prison. My brother’s lawyer also told me that there was nothing he could do for my brother. And so at that very specific moment, I knew in my heart that the only person who could help my brother was God, Himself alone. And as a family, we began to pray continuously every night.

Each time when I came to visit my brother, he was really happy to see me. Happy because there was someone outside who still remember him, still care for him, and still pray for him. Through his eyes, I could feel the shame, the guilt, and the sadness of all the prisoners. My brother told me that he never thought anything like this could have happened to him. He felt really bad for putting our family in a situation like this. And I asked my brother what happened that Saturday night because I never have believed that he would have the guts to kill or plan to kill anyone. My brother told me that his best friend, Khanh invited him to a party but him himself never showed up. And at the party, my brother realized that this was not just like any other ordinary party. This party was hosted by a group of guys who had a plan and the plan was to go shoot another guy for revenge. And that was what happened. They shot the guy.

After that visit, I really wanted to go look for Khanh to confront him. I wanted to ask him why did he invited my brother to the party when he knew that something like this would have happened. But somehow, I was too busy and tired with everything else that was going on around me. And then about two and a half months later, Khanh’s mom called me and invited our family to come attend his funeral. Khanh’s mom told me that he had been very depressed in the last couple of months and he didn’t know how to deal with his problems so he turned to drugs and alcohol. Then one night after a party, while his friend was driving him home at the speed of about 65-70 mph, Khanh suddenly opened the passenger’s door without his seat belt on because he was drunk and wanted to vomit and immediately, he fell out of the car and cracked his head on the pavement. He past away as he was rushed to the hospital. Khanh died a couple of days after he graduated from high school.

On my brother’s first court appearance, I got a chance to see the faces of all the 12 youngsters who were involved with the murder case and one of them was my own loving brother. The brother whom I have loved and will always love so much with all my heart. The brother whom God has given to us to be a part of our family. These 12 youngsters all had on them an orange jumpsuit, all shackle up looking extremely tense with guilt and shame, waiting one by one to present themselves to the judge and the 12 juries. It broke my heart to see them in that environment. It was just a complete shocked for me, my parents, my brothers and sisters, as well as for all the other parents and relatives of these youngsters. And as I started observing my surrounding, I could feel the severe pain and suffering of all the parents. And at that moment, I realized that these people really needed my help. Many of them did not spoke a word of English. Some of the parents only have one child and their only child was now charged with murder. Most of them were in panicking mode.

So friends, within two and a half months, I lost my brother and Khanh. I’ve never thought in my whole entire life that anything like this could have happened to me, to my family or to any one else. But I am going to tell you that stories like this do happen today. And as a matter of fact, I see it happened a lot these days. Hopefully, you will never have to go through what I have went through but you never know. Anything can happen tomorrow. That’s why Jesus taught us to just be happy and thankful with everything that we have today. I think if God’s didn’t give me and my family the grace and strength to go through what we had to go through at the times, we would have gone crazy by now with this whole chaotic mess.

One Christmas day when I came in to visit my brother, I noticed that he was coughing nonstop and he told me that he didn’t feel too well for the last couple of days. He told me that it had gotten really cold inside his cell. And I wish so badly at that moment that I could hold his hand or give him a hug and tell him that everything was going to be okay. I wish that I could give him some medication to take to cure his fever or a blanket to keep him warm but the police officer said “no”. All I was allowed to do was to just sit there and watch him suffer. Then when my brother turned 18, he graduated in there with a GED. Here is a picture of him on the screen with another inmate and their two teachers. Then a couple of days later, my brother told me that they placed him down inside a dark tunnel under the ground and told him that he needed to start walking over to the adult’s jail. My brother told me walking inside that dark tunnel for three days was the scariest moment in his whole entire life. And you got to understand that this brother of mine was a very adventurous guy and nothing had ever scared him before in his whole entire life but this underground tunnel did. And it took him three days to reach over to the adults’ jail.

During the time while my brother was serving his sentence at the Orange County jail, our family got together every night and we prayed for him. We asked God to protect him, to always keep him safe, and to bring him home soon. About 4 years later, I receive a call from my brother’s lawyer informing me that he got good news and the good news was that my brother will get to come home soon. He told me that my brother was a very lucky young man. And at that moment, I knew right away that this must be a miracle from heaven. Only God can do things like this and with God, all things are possible.

On the last day of court appearance, I had a chance to take a look at the shooter of the murder case once again. Four years ago when I first saw him, I would say he was around 160 lbs. Now, he looked to me like he was only about 90 lbs with many gray hairs on his head. Sitting in front of me was his broken-hearted mother and his girlfriend carrying their 3 and a half years old son in her arms. The shooter was sentenced to life in prison as he held a Bible in his hand. And one surprising thing on that day was that when I looked at the shooter, I saw in him an image of Jesus and Jesus said to me, “My daughter, please help me! I need you!” That was the moment when I knew what Jesus really wanted me to do for Him. He wanted me to be there for these youngsters. Jesus wanted me to be there for you, the young people of today! The young people of His church!

***

Yes, life is about choice. There are many people just want you to fail. But good friends are not.

Dear Lord, my hands are too small but just like Mother Teresa said “Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love”. I am here for you with the desire to spread out your love to the world. Please help us, especially the young adults who is walking on the dark road now.

Thank you M for sharing your story. I hope with this signal can wake up the kids. We should always and never stop hoping and praying for them and for ourselves as well.

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